oh, behold us, and dispute us if you can!
only look upon our faces,
on our more than human graces,
and observe the many traces
of our kinship with our noble brother, man!
—song of the ambitious monkeys.
the great round, soft, brown eyes of dozel, most slender-limbed and graceful of the herd of indian deer, were fixed on the face of the little limping boy. there seemed to be a look of pity in their depths. she licked toots' fingers, and the princess tried in vain to attract her attention.
[pg 28]
"do you suppose the sparrow has already told her of mahmoud's command?" asked the princess.
"i don't know," answered toots; "i think so, but i haven't quite made up my mind yet."
"dozel seems more affectionate toward you than ever," argued the princess. "yesterday she licked my hand, but to-day she has eyes only for you, toots."
"it must be so, then," said the little limping boy. "you remember that when the elephant ordered pwit-pwit to go and tell all the menial people that i stood between the two worlds, and that no harm should befall me, the sparrow flew away immediately. but, look! here comes pwit-pwit now. he and dozel are going to have their morning chat. keep quite still, and i'll tell you what they say."
the princess put her finger on her lip and looked significantly at toots, as the sparrow perched herself on the top rail of the yard, within a foot of dozel's ear, and began to chirp. the princess saw the familiar, dreamy look come into toots' eyes, as he began to translate the gossip of the sparrow and the deer.
"why are you so sad this morning?" asked pwit-pwit. "the weather is simply perfect."
but dozel merely sighed, and turned her gaze wistfully in the direction of the elephant house. nothing so delighted her as the loud trumpetings of mahmoud and his mate, and she always let her eyes roam in their direction when anything unusual was on her mind.
"you ought to be happy," continued the [pg 32]sparrow; "you certainly never looked handsomer, with your brown skin so soft and velvety that the little white spots scattered over it look like snowflakes, and your eyes so clear and tender—tut, tut, now dozel, my dear. the idea of your crying on a morning like this!"
"i can't help it," whimpered the beautiful creature. "it's enough to make any one weep."
pwit-pwit hopped on to dozel's back and together they took a turn about the yard.
"and i'm blest if you're not limping, you, of all people in the world!" said the sparrow, in astonishment.
"it's out of sympathy," sighed dozel. "when i think of my own legs, so straight and slender and swift, i can't help thinking of the little limping boy and his poor, crooked leg, with the iron on it. there he stands now. isn't it pitiful? oh, dear, oh, dear!"
[pg 33]
"true, it is very sad," said pwit-pwit, soberly; "but what can't be cured must be endured, you know."
"the worst part of it," said the deer, "is that there is something about the little limping boy's walk that reminds me of those chattering, screaming monkeys i remember so well in the jungle. there are some of them over in a corner of the lion house. i can't bear them."
"hello!" chirped the sparrow, jubilantly. "so that's your opinion of 'em, too, is it, dozel, my dear? well, that's too good to keep. i'll go straight to the monkeys with that, and when they know that it comes from you direct, they'll have a bad half-hour, i can tell you. they won't be any happier than you are then, my dear. do you know, the impudent creatures actually claim to be related to the birds! as a [pg 34]general thing, i pay no attention to 'em, but this is different. they feel so sure of your good opinion, you're so sweet and sedate with everybody. my, oh, my, but won't it make 'em wild! i'll go straight to that idiot, mr. kelly. just listen, and you'll hear him jabber himself blue in the face."
with this, the malicious little bird flew straight into the lion house, and to mr. kelly's corner, toots and the princess following as fast as their legs could carry them, the iron on the little limping boy's leg clanking all the way.
now, mr. kelly is a very learned monkey, having enjoyed the society of men for quite a number of years. he had had breakfast, and was leisurely picking his teeth. pwit-pwit perched himself on the rail just out of reach of his nimble fingers. truth to tell, the sparrow was so startled at mr. [pg 35]kelly's resemblance to the man who carried the plaster when the bear's den was being repaired, that he was quite civil at first.
"good morning, mr. kelly," he said politely, "are you feeling quite well?"
"so-so," answered the monkey, eying the sparrow with much deliberation. "except for my neuralgia and a touch of the gout i'm in my usual health, thank you. you don't happen to have a cigar about you, i suppose?"
"bless me!" said pwit-pwit, astounded and quite off his guard, "you don't mean to say you smoke?"
"had my cigar after breakfast every morning when i was acting in a theater over in the bowery," said mr. kelly. "seems [pg 36]that smoking isn't allowed here. these blue laws are beastly, aren't they?"
"do you find it hard going without?" asked pwit-pwit, unable yet to assume his accustomed air of superiority.
"if they would let me taper off i wouldn't mind so much," answered the monkey, with a yawn; "but this stopping all at once is rather trying on the nerves."
toots shifted his position in front of the monkey's cage, which caused the iron on his leg to jingle. this attracted the attention of mr. kelly, who threw away the straw he had been using as a toothpick and came close to the wire netting that surrounded him.
"you heard the command of mahmoud to all the menial people touching the little limping boy," said the sparrow. "well, here he is."
[pg 37]
instead of replying, mr. kelly began twisting his features into the drollest shapes imaginable.
"mahmoud's command has made a great stir everywhere," continued pwit-pwit. "it has affected dozel to tears. i left her just now weeping over the misfortunes of the little limping boy."
at this mr. kelly began to snivel and moan, while two tears rolled down his hairy nose.
"hello, there! what's the matter with you?" demanded pwit-pwit.
the monkey made no reply, but began limping around his cage, moaning and shedding tears, as though heart-broken.
"oh, i see," said the sparrow, "you're sorry for the little limping boy, too."
[pg 38]
"i have a fellow-feeling for him," answered mr. kelly, and went on with his moaning.
"why, you—you miserable upstart!" exclaimed pwit-pwit, ruffling up his feathers in indignation.
the sparrow would have said more but for the sudden change in mr. kelly's manner. the monkey had come back to the front of his cage, and was touching the side of his head with the forefinger of his right hand.
"what are you up to now?" he demanded.
"saluting my unfortunate distant relation," said mr. kelly, who then went on moaning and weeping worse than before.
for a moment the sparrow's indignation was such that he seemed to be deprived of speech. he looked at mr. kelly, and then at the little limping boy, and then at the monkey again. then he ruffled up the [pg 39]feathers of his neck angrily, and said:
"do you mean to say that you believe yourself to be related to this boy, who will grow into a man some day?"
that's the tradition in our family
"that's the tradition in our family," said mr. kelly, "and you doubtless know that tradition is the basis of all history. besides, that's what a very celebrated man once said in a lecture at the theater where i acted, and he had me on the stage with him for an illustration—so he said. any one can see that there isn't much difference between a monkey and a man, except the clothes. look for yourself."
and mr. kelly placed his right elbow in his left hand, and rested his chin on his right hand, just as the little limping boy was doing.
[pg 40]
pwit-pwit looked from one to the other, and the resemblance was so startling that for a moment he was at a loss what answer to make. then he caught sight of the monkey's tail, which mr. kelly was trying hard to conceal behind him.
"aha!" chirped the sparrow, exultantly; "what about the tail?"
"none of your business, you meddlesome, gossiping little wretch!" screamed mr. kelly, in a passion. and he made a grab for pwit-pwit through the wires of his cage, but could not quite reach him.
"be careful," warned the sparrow. "remember the law."
"know this once for all, you insignificant bearer of tales," snarled mr. kelly. "mahmoud himself has said that he was in doubt whether i was of the menial people, or whether i stood between the two worlds. ere [pg 41]long i shall compel him to proclaim that i am neither the one nor the other, but that i am of the master people. so beware!"
but pwit-pwit nearly burst his sides with laughter.
"do you know what dozel says about you?" he said finally; "the beautiful young indian doe at whom you have been making eyes through the wires of your cage ever since she arrived?"
mr. kelly suddenly turned very pale. noticing this, the sparrow went on relentlessly:
"she says that you and all your tribe are chattering, screaming nobodies."
for a moment the blow seemed almost more than mr. kelly could endure.
"aha, mr. kelly," said the sparrow, [pg 42]insolently, "chattering, screaming nobodies! what do you say to that?"
at this taunt mr. kelly nearly exploded with passion. he clenched his hand and shook it at the sparrow, and screamed at the top of his voice:
"jocko! jocko! do you hear? this meddlesome wretch of a sparrow says we are chattering nobodies."
long-tailed monkeys with black caps
jocko, the tottering old baboon in his cage on the other side of the lion house, turned blue in the face with anger.
"catch him and pull out his tail feathers!" he screamed. "never mind the law."
[pg 43]
but pwit-pwit kept well out of mr. kelly's reach. by this time, the little, long-tailed monkeys with black caps and high-pitched voices, living next door to jocko, were chattering and shrieking at a fearful rate. the sparrow flew about from one cage to another, hurling taunts at the enraged creatures, enjoying himself immensely.
when, at length, the monkeys had chattered and shrieked themselves hoarse, mr. kelly commanded them to be silent while he arranged for a final settlement of the dispute. he walked in a dignified manner about his cage until he had recovered his breath, and then said sternly to pwit-pwit:
"you are only a foolish little bird, with a great deal to learn. while we care very little for your opinion, it is well that this matter should be settled. is there any one among all the menial people whose word [pg 44]you will accept as the eternal truth?"
"yes," answered the sparrow, promptly. "there is caliph, the old hippopotamus. he is very old and very wise, and he always tells the truth—which is more than can be said of monkeys."
"very well," said mr. kelly, calmly, "go and ask caliph if it is not true that the first man and the first monkey were made out of the same lump of clay long, long ago on the banks of the river nile. tell him to lift up his voice when he answers, so that all can hear."
"agreed," said pwit-pwit; "and when you hear old caliph's answer prepare to hang crape on your door-knob, for it will mean the death of your absurd ambition."
then, while mr. kelly continued to walk about his cage in a dignified manner, the [pg 45]sparrow, followed by toots and the princess, flew quickly to the hippopotamus house. straight up to the edge of the deep pool in which caliph lay, with only an island of black back and his two bulging nostrils showing above the surface of the water, hopped pwit-pwit.
"what, ho! caliph!" chirped the sparrow, "come forth from thy meditations and give ear to a matter of consequence concerning all the menial people."
at first caliph only blinked his small eyes. pwit-pwit bobbed his head at the monster with evidence of vast respect, and said in a louder voice:
"greeting, o master of the deep! it is concerning the general welfare that i come to disturb thy reflections on the glorious past. the pretensions of the monkeys have grown past all bounds, so that there is menace to the general peace. the trouble [pg 46]happened in this wise: mr. kelly, who is only a poor sort of monkey, at best, claims kinship with the master world, whereat there is much discontent and not a little jealousy. he avers that the first monkey and the first man were made out of the same lump of clay on the banks of the nile. is this the truth? speak, i pray you, in tones that may be heard by all, that the trouble which threatens us may be averted."
while the sparrow thus spoke, caliph raised his head slowly out of the water. seven times did he open and close his enormous mouth. at length, in a voice that rang throughout the menial world, he spoke as follows:
"harken unto me, all ye menial people. as to the first monkey, it was in this wise: when the first man had been made, his shadow fell upon some very poor clay that [pg 47]had been thrown away. and it came to pass that when the first man walked, and his shadow walked after him, the poor clay upon which the shadow rested rose and ran shrieking into the forest. and, lo! it was a monkey. behold, i have spoken."
when caliph had sunk beneath the water again, pwit-pwit, with his head on one side, listened eagerly for the comments of the other menial people, and toots, with his hand placed warningly on the princess, listened, too. first, mahmoud trumpeted his acquiescence:
"it is true. i heard it from my father in the jungle one day when these insolent chatterers were particularly annoying. the monkeys are but as chips that fall from the hewn log."
"behold, caliph's words are the words of wisdom," said sultan, patriarch of the [pg 48]lions, in his deepest roar. "i, who was born in the shadow of the great pyramids, had it from my father, who had it from the father of caliph when he went down to the nile to drink. lo! the monkeys are as the chaff when the wheat is winnowed."
pwit-pwit
"i am not of that country," said the old dromedary from the plains of arabia; "but my cousins, the camels, known to all the world as ships of the desert, brought the news to my people. by the fat in my hump, i swear that caliph speaks the truth."
"my grandmother had it from an aged crocodile who crawled up on the bank of the nile to sun herself, just as she was laying in the hot sand the egg that hatched my mother," screamed the old cock ostrich. "the monkeys are of no more consequence than straws blown by the wind."
and no voice among the menial people [pg 49]was silent. those who had no testimony to add to that of caliph, roared and screeched and howled their approval of it. but the monkeys did not remain long abashed at the verdict against them. when pwit-pwit, followed by toots and the princess, returned to observe its effect upon them, they found mr. kelly sitting cross-legged on his overturned water bucket, with his chin in his hand, meditating deeply.
"well," chirped pwit-pwit, "did you hear the verdict of old caliph?"
"eh?" said mr. kelly, raising his head abstractedly. "hum, ah, oh, yes, i heard it."
"and the corroboration of all the other menial people?"
"all my expectations were verified," said [pg 50]mr. kelly, complacently. "malice and prejudice were so apparent that every logical mind will at once class the statements of caliph and his satellites as perjured testimony. my contention, therefore, is sustained."
too perplexed and astonished to make any reply, pwit-pwit flew away to his favorite perch on the rim of mahmoud's ear, where he sat, crestfallen, for fully three and a quarter minutes.
