jock disliked kaffirs: so did jim. to jim there were three big divisions of the human race—white men, zulus, and niggers. zulu, old or young, was greeted by him as equal, friend and comrade; but the rest were trash, and he cherished a most particular contempt for the shangaans and chopis, as a lot who were just about good enough for what they did—that is, work in the mines. they could neither fight nor handle animals; and the sight of them stirred him to contempt and pricked him to hostilities.
it was not long before jim discovered this bond of sympathy between him and jock, and i am perfectly sure that the one bad habit which jock was never cured of was due to deliberate encouragement from jim on every possible opportunity. it would have been a matter of difficulty and patience in any case to teach jock not to unnecessarily attack strange kaffirs. it was very important that he should have nothing to do with them, and should treat them with suspicion as possible enemies and keep them off the premises. i was glad that he did it by his own choice and instinct; but this being so, it needed all the more intelligence and training to get him to understand just where to draw the line. jim made it worse; he made the already difficult task practically impossible by egging jock on; and what finally made it quite impossible was the extremely funny turn it took, which caused such general amusement that every one joined in the conspiracy and backed up jock.
every one knows how laughable it is to see a person dancing about like a mad dervish, with legs and arms going in all directions, dodging the rushes of a dog, especially if the spectator knows that the dog will not do any real harm and is more intent on scaring his victim, just for the fun of the thing, than on hunting him. well, that is how it began.
as far as i know the first incident arose out of the intrusion of a strange kaffir at one of the outspans. jock objected, and he was forcing a scared boy back step by step—doing the same feinting rushes that he practised with game—until the boy tripped over a camp stool and sat plump down on the three-legged pot of porridge cooking at the camp fire. i did not see it; for jock was, as usual, quite silent—a feature which always had a most terrifying effect on his victims: it was a roar like a lion’s from jim that roused me. jock was standing off with his feet on the move forwards and backwards, his head on one side and his face full of interest, as if he would dearly love another romp in; and the waggon-boys were reeling and rolling about the grass, helpless with laughter.
a dog is just as quick as a child to find out when he can take liberties; he knows that laughter and serious disapproval do not go together; and jock with the backing of the boys thoroughly enjoyed him-self. that was how it began; and by degrees it developed into the great practical joke. the curious thing to note was the way in which jock entered into the spirit of the thing, and how he improved and varied his methods. it was never certain what he would do; sometimes it would be a wild romp, as it was that day; at other times he would stalk the intruder in the open, much as a pointer approaches his birds in the last strides, and with eyes fixed steadily and mouth tightly pursed-up, he would move straight at him with infinite slowness and deliberation until, the boy’s nerve failed, and he turned and ran. at other times again he trotted out as if he had seen nothing, and then stopped suddenly. if the boy came on, jock waited; but if there was any sign of fear or hesitation, he lowered his head, humped up his shoulders—as a stagey boxer does when he wants to appear ferocious—and gave his head a kind of chuck forward, as if in the act of charging: this seldom failed to shake the intruder’s nerve, and as soon as he turned or backed, the romp began. still another trick was to make a round in the bush and come up behind unobserved, and then make a furious dash with rumbly gurgly growls; the startled boy invariably dropped all he had, breaking into a series of fantastic capers and excited yells, to the huge delight of jim and the others.
but these things were considered trifles: the piece that always ‘brought the house down’ was the shangaan gang trick, which on one occasion nearly got us all into serious trouble. the natives going to or from the goldfields travel in gangs of from four or five to forty or fifty; they walk along in indian-file, and even when going across the veld or walking on wide roads they wind along singly in the footsteps of the leader. what prompted the dog to start this new game i cannot imagine: certainly no one could have taught it to him; and as well as one could judge, he did it entirely ‘off his own bat,’ without anything to lead up to or suggest it.
one day a gang of about thirty of these shangaans, each carrying his load of blankets, clothing, pots, billies and other valuables on his head, was coming along a footpath beside the road some twenty yards away from the waggons. jock strolled out and sat himself down in the middle of the path; it was the way he did it and his air, utterly devoid of hostile or even serious purpose, that attracted my attention without rousing any doubts. the leader of the gang, however, was suspicious and shied off wide into the veld; he passed in a semicircle round jock, a good ten yards away, and came safely back to the path again, and the dog with his nose in the air merely eyed him with a look of humorous interest and mild curiosity. the second kaffir made the loop shorter, and the third shorter still, as they found their alarm and suspicions unjustified; and so on, as each came along, the loop was lessened until they passed in safety almost brushing against jock’s nose. and still he never budged—never moved—except, as each boy approached, to look up at his face and, slowly turning his head, follow him round with his eyes until he re-entered the path. there was something extremely funny in the mechanical regularity with which his head swung round. it was so funny that not only the boys at the waggons noticed it and laughed; the unsuspecting shangaans themselves shared the joke. when half a dozen had passed round in safety, comments followed by grunts of agreement or laughter ran along the line, and then, as each fresh boy passed and jock’s calm inspection was repeated, a regular chorus of guffaws and remarks broke out. the long heavy bundles on their heads made turning round a slow process, so that, except for the first half-dozen, they were content to enjoy what they saw in front and to know by the laughter from behind that the joke had been repeated all down the line.
the last one walked calmly by; but as he did so there came one short muffled bark, “whoop!” from jock as he sprang out and nipped the unsuspecting shangaan behind. the boy let out a yell that made the whole gang jump and clutch wildly at their toppling bundles, and jock raced along the footpath, leaping, gurgling and snapping behind each one he came near, scattering them this way and that, in a romp of wild enjoyment. the shouts of the scared boys, the clatter of the tins as their bundles toppled down, the scrambling and scratching as they clawed the ground pretending to pick up stones or sticks to stop his rushes, and the ridiculous rout of the thirty shangaans in every direction, abandoning their baggage and fleeing from the little red enemy only just visible in the grass as he hunted and harried them, were too much for my principles and far too much for my gravity. to be quite honest, i weakened badly, and from that day on preferred to look another way when jock sallied out to inspect a gang of shangaans. between them, jim and jock had beaten me.
but the weakening brought its own punishment and the joke was not far from making a tragedy. many times while lying some way off in the shade of a tree or under another waggon i heard jim, all unconscious of my presence, call in a low deep voice, almost a whisper, “jock, jock; kaffirs; shangaans!” jock’s head was up in a moment, and a romp of some sort followed unless i intervened. afterwards, when jock was deaf, jim used to reach out and pull his foot or throw a handful of sand or a bunch of grass to rouse him, and when jock’s head switched up jim’s big black fist pointing to their common enemy was quite enough.
jim had his faults, but getting others into mischief while keeping out of it himself was not one of them. if he egged jock on, he was more than ready to stand by him, and on these occasions his first act was to jump for his sticks, which were always pretty handy, and lie in readiness to take a hand if any of the gang should use what he considered unfair means of defence, such as throwing stones and kerries or using assegais or knives; and jim—the friend of jock, the avoided enemy of all shangaans, aching for an excuse to take a hand in the row himself—was not, i fear, a very impartial judge.
there was a day outside barberton which i remember well. we were to start that evening, and knowing that if jim got into the town he might not be back and fit to work for days, i made him stay with the waggons. he lay there flat out under his waggon with his chin resting on his arms, staring steadily at the glistening corrugated iron roofs of the town, as morose and unapproachable as a surly old watch-dog. from the tent of my waggon i saw him raise his head, and following his glance, picked out a row of bundles against the sky-line. presently a long string of about fifty time-expired mine-boys came in sight. jim on his hands and knees scrambled over to where jock lay asleep, and shook him; for this incident occurred after jock had become deaf.
“shangaans, jock; shangaans! kill them; kill, kill, kill!” said jim in gusty ferocious whispers. it must have seemed as if fate had kindly provided an outlet for the rebellious rage and the craving for a fight that were consuming him.
as jock trotted out to head them off jim reached up to the buck-rails and pulled down his bundle of sticks and lay down like a tiger on the spring. i had had a lot of trouble with jim that day, and this annoyed me; but my angry call to stop was unavailing. jim, pretending not to understand, made no attempt to stop jock, but contented himself with calling to him to come back; and jock, stone deaf, trotted evenly along with his head, neck, back, and tail, all level—an old trick of jess’s which generally meant trouble for some one. slowing down as he neared the shangaans he walked quietly on until he headed off the leader, and there he stood across the path. it was just the same as before: the boys, finding that he did nothing, merely stepped aside to avoid bumping against him. they were boys taking back their purchases to their kraals to dazzle the eyes of the ignorant with the wonders of civilisation—gaudy blankets, collections of bright tin billies and mugs, tin plates, three-legged pots, clothing, hats, and even small tin trunks painted brilliant yellow, helped to make up their huge bundles. the last boy was wearing a pair of royal artillery trousers; and i have no doubt he regarded it ever afterwards as nothing less than a calamity that they were not safely stowed away in his bundle—for a kaffir would sacrifice his skin rather than his new pants any day. it was from the seat of these too ample bags that jock took a good mouthful; and it was the boy’s frantic jump, rather than jock’s tug, that made the piece come out. the sudden fright and the attempts to face about quickly caused several downfalls; the clatter of these spread the panic; and on top of it all came jock’s charge along the broken line, and the excited shouts of those who thought they were going to be worried to death.
jim had burst into great bellows of laughter and excited—but quite superfluous—shouts of encouragement to jock, who could not have heard a trumpet at ten yards.
but there came a very unexpected change. one big shangaan had drawn from his bundle a brand new side-axe: i saw the bright steel head flash, as he held it menacingly aloft by the short handle and marched towards jock. there was a scrambling bound from under the waggon, and jim, with face distorted and grey with fury, rushed out. in his right hand he brandished a tough stout fighting stick; in his left i was horrified to see an assegai, and well i knew that, with the fighting fury on him, he would think nothing of using it. the shangaan saw him coming, and stopped; then, still facing jim, and with the axe raised and feinting repeatedly to throw it, he began to back away. jim never paused for a second: he came straight on with wild leaps and blood-curdling yells in zulu fighting fashion and ended with a bound that seemed to drop him right on top of the other. the stick came down with a whirr and a crash that crimped every nerve in my body; and the shangaan dropped like a log.
i had shouted myself hoarse at jim, but he heard or heeded nothing; and seizing a stick from one of the other boys i was already on the way to stop him, but before i got near him he had wrenched the axe from the kicking boy and, without pause, gone headlong for the next shangaan he saw. then everything went wrong: the more i shouted and the harder i ran, the worse the row. the shangaans seemed to think i had joined in and was directing operations against them: jim seemed to be inspired to wilder madness by my shouts and gesticulations; and jock—well, jock at any rate had not the remotest doubt as to what he should do. when he saw me and jim in full chase behind him, his plain duty was to go in for all he was worth; and he did it.
it was half an hour before i got that mad savage back. he was as unmanageable as a runaway horse. he had walloped the majority of the fifty himself; he had broken his own two sticks and used up a number of theirs; on his forehead there was a small cut and a lump like half an orange; and on the back of his head another cut left by the sticks of the enemy when eight or ten had rallied once in a half-hearted attempt to stand against him.
it was strange how jim, even in that mood, yielded to the touch of one whom he regarded as his “inkos.” i could not have forced him back: in that maniac condition it would have needed a powerful combination indeed to bring him back against his will. he yielded to the light grip of my hand on his wrist and walked freely along with me; but a fiery bounding vitality possessed him, and with long springy strides he stepped out—looking excitedly about, turning to right and left or even right about, and stepping sideways or even backwards to keep pace with me—yet always yielding the imprisoned arm so as not to pull me about. and all the time there came from him a torrent of excited gabble in pure zulu, too fast and too high-flown for me to follow, which was punctuated and paragraphed by bursting allusions to ‘dogs of shangaans,’ ‘axes,’ ‘sticks,’ and ‘jock.’
near the waggons we passed over the ‘battlefield,’ and a huge guffaw of laughter broke from jim as we came on the abandoned impedimenta of the defeated enemy. several of the bundles had burst open from the violence of the fall, and the odd collections of the natives were scattered about; others had merely shed the outside luggage of tin billies, beakers, pans, boots and hats. jim looked on it all as the spoils of war, wanting to stop and gather in his loot there and then, and when i pressed on, he shouted to the other drivers to come out and collect the booty.
but my chief anxiety was to end the wretched escapade as quickly as possible and get the shangaans on their way again; so i sent jim back to his place under the waggon, and told the cook-boy to give him the rest of my coffee and half a cup of sugar to provide him with something else to think of and to calm him down.
after a wait of half an hour or so, a head appeared just over the rise, and then another and another, at irregular intervals and at various points: they were scouting very cautiously before venturing back again. i sat in the tent-waggon out of sight and kept quiet, hoping that in a few minutes they would gain confidence, collect their goods, and go their way again. jim, lying flat under the waggon, was much lower than i was, and—continuing his gabble to the other boys—saw nothing. unfortunately he looked round just as a scared face peered cautiously over the top of an ant-heap. the temptation was, i suppose, irresistible: he scrambled to his knees with a pretence of starting afresh and let out one ferocious yell that made my hair stand up; and in that second every head bobbed down and the field was deserted once more.
if this went on there could be but one ending: the police would be appealed to, jim arrested, and i should spend days hanging about the courts waiting for a trial from which the noble jim would probably emerge with three months’ hard labour; so i sallied out as my own herald of peace. but the position was more difficult than it looked: as soon as the shangaans saw my head appearing over the rise, they scattered like chaff before the wind, and ran as if they would never stop. they evidently took me for the advance guard in a fresh attack, and from the way they ran seemed to suspect that jim and jock might be doing separate flanking movements to cut them off. i stood upon an ant-heap and waved and called, but each shout resulted in a fresh spurt and each movement only made them more suspicious. it seemed a hopeless case, and i gave it up.
on the way back to the waggons, however, i thought of sam—sam, with his neatly patched european clothes, with the slouchy heavy-footed walk of a nigger in boots, with his slack lanky figure and serious timid face! sam would surely be the right envoy; even the routed shangaans would feel that there was nothing to fear there. but sam was by no means anxious to earn laurels; he was clearly of the poet’s view that “the paths of glory lead but to the grave;” and it was a poor-looking weak-kneed and much dejected scarecrow that dragged its way reluctantly out into the veld to hold parley with the routed enemy that day.
at the first mention of sam’s name jim had twitched round with a snort, but the humour of the situation tickled him when he saw the too obvious reluctance with which his rival received the honour conferred on him. between rough gusts of laughter jim rained on him crude ridicule and rude comments; and sam slouched off with head bent, relieving his heart with occasional clicks and low murmurs of disgust. how far the new herald would have ventured, if he had not received most unexpected encouragement, is a matter for speculation. jim’s last shout was to advise him not to hide in an ant-bear hole; but, to sam’s relief, the shangaans seemed to view him merely as a decoy, even more dangerous than i was; for, as no one else appeared, they had now no idea at all from which quarter the expected attack would come. they were widely scattered more than half a mile away when sam came in sight; a brief pause followed in which they looked anxiously around, and then, after some aimless dashes about like a startled troop of buck, they seemed to find the line of flight and headed off in a long string down the valley towards the river.
now, no one had ever run away from sam before, and the exhilarating sight so encouraged him that he marched boldly on after them. goodness knows when, if ever, they would have stopped, if sam had not met a couple of other natives whom the shangaans had passed and induced them to turn back and reassure the fugitives.
an hour later sam came back in mild triumph, at the head of the shangaan gang; and, ‘clothed in a little brief authority,’ stood guard and superintended while they collected their scattered goods—all except the axe that caused the trouble. that they failed to find. the owner may have thought it wise to make no claim on me; sam, if he remembered it, would have seen the shangaans and all their belongings burned in a pile rather than raise so delicate a question with jim; i had forgotten all about it—being anxious only to end the trouble and get the shangaans off; and that villain jim ‘lay low.’ at the first outspan from barberton next day i saw him carving his mark on the handle, unabashed, under my very nose.
the next time jim got drunk he added something to his opinion of sam:
“sam no good: sam leada bible! shangaan, sam; shangaan!”
