hazel, with her eyes blinded with tears and her heart swelling with the loss of the woman upon whose motherliness she had come to feel a claim, burned the letter she had written the night before, and sent a carefully worded telegram, her heart yearning with sympathy towards the bereaved son.
"your dear mother has gone home, quietly, in her sleep. she did not seem any worse than usual, and her last words were of you. let us know at once what plans we shall make. nurse radcliffe." that was the telegram she sent.
poor amelia ellen was all broken up. her practical common sense for once had fled her. she would do nothing but weep and moan for the beloved invalid whom she had served so long and faithfully. it fell to hazel to make all decisions, though the neighbours and old friends were most kind with offers of help. hazel waited anxiously for an answer[219] to the telegram, but night fell and no answer had come. there had been a storm and something was wrong with the wires. the next morning, however, she sent another telegram, and about noon still a third, with as yet no response. she thought perhaps he had not waited to telegraph but had started immediately, and might be with them in a few hours. she watched the evening stage, but he did not come; then realized how her heart was in a flutter, and wondered how she would have had strength to meet him had he come. there was the letter from his mother, and her promise. she had that excuse for her presence—of course she could not have left under the circumstances. yet she shrank from the meeting, for it seemed somehow a breach of etiquette that she should be the one to break the separation that he had chosen should be between them.
however, he did not come, and the third morning, when it became imperative that something definite should be known, a telegram to the station agent in arizona brought answer that the missionary was away on a long trip among some tribes of indians; that his exact whereabouts was not known, but messengers had been sent after him, and word would be sent as soon as possible. the[220] minister and the old neighbours advised with amelia ellen and hazel, and made simple plans for the funeral, yet hoped and delayed as long as possible, and when at last after repeated telegrams there still came the answer, "messenger not yet returned," they bore the worn-out body of the woman to a quiet resting place beside her beloved husband in the churchyard on the hillside where the soft maples scattered bright covering over the new mound, and the sky arched high with a kind of triumphant reminder of where the spirit was gone.
hazel tried to have every detail just as she thought he would have liked it. the neighbours brought of their homely flowers in great quantities, and some city friends who had been old summer boarders sent hot-house roses. the minister conducted the beautiful service of faith, and the village children sang about the casket of their old friend, who had always loved every one of them, their hands full of the late flowers from her own garden, bright scarlet and blue and gold, as though it were a joyous occasion. indeed, hazel had the impression, even as she moved in the hush of the presence of death, that she was helping at some solemn festivity of deep joy instead of a funeral—so glorious had been the hope[221] of the one who was gone, so triumphant her faith in her saviour.
after the funeral was over hazel sat down and wrote a letter telling about it all, filling it with sympathy, trying to show their effort to have things as he would have liked them, and expressing deep sorrow that they had been compelled to go on with the service without him.
that night there came a message from the arizona station agent. the missionary had been found in a distant indian hogan with a dislocated ankle. he sent word that they must not wait for him; that he would get there in time, if possible. a later message the next day said he was still unable to travel, but would get to the railroad as soon as possible. then came an interval of several days without any word from arizona.
hazel went about with amelia ellen, putting the house in order, hearing the beautiful plaint of the loving-hearted, mourning servant as she told little incidents of her mistress. here was the chair she sat in the last time she went up-stairs to oversee the spring regulating, and that was mr. john's little baby dress in which he was christened. his mother smoothed it out and told her the story of his baby loveliness one day. she[222] had laid it away herself in the box with the blue shoes and the crocheted cap. it was the last time she ever came up-stairs.
there was the gray silk dress she wore to weddings and dinner parties before her husband died, and beneath it in the trunk was the white embroidered muslin that was her wedding gown. yellow with age it was, and delicate as a spider's web, with frostwork of yellowed broidery strewn quaintly on its ancient form, and a touch of real lace. hazel laid a reverent hand on the fine old fabric, and felt, as she looked through the treasures of the old trunk, that an inner sanctuary of sweetness had been opened for her glimpsing.
at last a letter came from the west.
it was addressed to "miss radcliffe, nurse," in brownleigh's firm, clear hand, and began: "dear madam." hazel's hand trembled as she opened it, and the "dear madam" brought the tears to her eyes; but then, of course, he did not know.
he thanked her, with all the kindliness and courtliness of his mother's son, for her attendance on his dear mother, and told her of many pleasant things his mother had written of her ministrations. he spoke briefly of his being laid up lamed in the indian reservation and his deep grief that he had been unable to[223] come east to be beside his mother during her last hours, but went on to say that it had been his mother's wish, many times expressed, that he should not leave his post to come to her, and that there need be "no sadness of farewell" when she "embarked," and that though it was hard for him he knew it was a fulfillment of his mother's desires. and now that she was gone, and the last look upon her dear face was impossible, he had decided that he could not bear it just yet to come home and see all the dear familiar places with her face gone. he would wait a little while, until he had grown used to the thought of her in heaven, and then it would not be so hard. perhaps he would not come home until next spring, unless something called him; he could not tell. and in any case, his injured ankle prevented him making the journey at present, no matter how much he may desire to do so. miss radcliffe's letter had told him that everything had been done just as he would have had it done. there was nothing further to make it a necessity that he should come. he had written to his mother's lawyer to arrange his mother's few business affairs, and it only remained for him to express his deep gratitude towards those who had stood by his dear mother when it had been made[224] impossible for him to do so. he closed with a request that the nurse would give him her permanent address that he might be sure to find her when he found it possible to come east again, as he would enjoy thanking her face to face for what she had been to his mother.
that was all.
hazel felt a blank dizziness settle down over her as she finished the letter. it put him miles away from her again, with years perhaps before another sight of him. she suddenly seemed fearfully alone in a world that no longer interested her. where should she go; what to do with her life now? back to the hard grind of the hospital with nobody to care, and the heartrending scenes and tragedies that were daily enacted? somehow her strength seemed to go from her at the thought. here, too, she had failed. she was not fit for the life, and the hospital people had discovered it and sent her away to nurse her friend and try to get well. they had been kind and talked about when she should return to them, but she knew in her heart they felt her unfit and did not want her back.
should she go back to her home, summon her brother and aunt, and plunge into society again? the very idea sickened her. never again would she care for that life, she was certain. as she searched her heart to see what it was she really craved, if anything in the whole wide world, she found her only interest was in the mission field of arizona, and now that her dear friend was gone she was cut off from knowing anything much about that.
she gathered herself together after a while and told amelia ellen of the decision of mr. brownleigh, and together they planned how the house should be closed, and everything put in order to await its master's will to return. but that night hazel could not sleep, for suddenly, in the midst of her sad reflections, came the thought of the letter that was left in her trust.
it had been forgotten during the strenuous days that had followed the death of its writer. hazel had thought of it only once, and that on the first morning, with a kind of comforting reflection that it would help the son to bear his sorrow, and she was glad that it was her privilege to put it into his hand. then the perplexities of the occasion had driven it from her thoughts. now it came back like a swift light in a dark place. there was yet the letter which she must give him. it was a precious bond that would hold him to her for a little while longer. but how should she give it to him?
should she send it by mail? no, for that would not be fulfilling the letter of her promise. she knew the mother wished her to give it to him herself. well, then, should she write and summon him to his old home at once, tell him of the letter and yet refuse to send it to him? how strange that would seem! how could she explain it to him? his mother's whim might be sacred to him—would be, of course—but he would think it strange that a young woman should make so much of it as not to trust the letter to the mail now that the circumstances made it impossible for him to come on at once.
neither would it do for her to keep the letter until such a time as he should see fit to return to the east and look her up. it might be years.
the puzzling question kept whirling itself about in her mind for hours until at last she formulated a plan which seemed to solve the problem.
the plan was this. she would coax amelia ellen to take a trip to california with her, and on the way they would stop in arizona and give the letter into the hands of the young man. by that time no doubt his injured ankle would be sufficiently strong to allow his return from the journey to the indian reservation. she would say that she was going west and, as she had promised his mother she would put the letter into his hands, she had taken this opportunity to stop off and keep her promise. the trip would be a good thing for amelia ellen too, and take her mind off her loneliness for the mistress who was gone.
eagerly she broached the subject to amelia ellen the next morning, and was met with a blank face of dismay.
"i couldn't noways you'd fix it, my dearie," she said sadly shaking her head. "i'd like nuthin' better'n to see them big trees out in californy i've been hearin' 'bout all my life; an' summer an' winter with snow on the mountains what some of the boarders 't the inn tells 'bout; but i can't bring it 'bout. you see it's this way. peter burley 'n' i ben promused fer nigh on to twelve year now, an' when he ast me i said no, i couldn't leave mis' brownleigh long's she needed me; an' he sez will i marry him the week after she dies, an' i sez i didn't like no sech dismal way o' puttin' it; an' he sez well, then, will i marry him the week after she don't need me no more; an' i sez yes, i will, an' now i gotta keep my promus! i can't go back on my faithful word. i'd like real well to see them big trees, but i gotta keep my promus! you see he's waited long 'nough, an' he's ben real patient. not always he cud get to see me every week, an' he might 'a' tuk delmira that cooked to the inn five year ago. she'd 'a' had him in a minnit, an' she done her best to git him, but he stayed faithful, an' he sez, sez he, ''meelia el'n, ef you're meanin' to keep your word, i'll wait ef it's a lifetime, but i hope you won't make it any longer'n you need;' an' the night he said that i promused him agin i'd be hisn soon ez ever i was free to do's i pleased. i'd like to see them big trees, but i can't do it. i jes' can't do it."
now hazel was not a young woman who was easily balked in her plans when once they were made. she was convinced that the only thing to do was to take this trip and that amelia ellen was the only person in the world she wanted for a companion; therefore she made immediate acquaintance with peter burley, a heavy-browed, thoughtful, stolid man, who looked his character of patient lover, every inch of him, blue overalls and all. hazel's heart almost misgave her as she unfolded her plan to his astonished ears, and saw the look of blank dismay that overspread his face. however, he had not waited all these years to refuse his sweetheart anything in reason now. he drew a deep sigh, inquired how long the trip as planned would take, allowed he "could wait another month ef that would suit," and turned patiently to his barn-yard to think his weary thoughts, and set his hopes a little further ahead. then hazel's heart misgave her. she called after him and suggested that perhaps he might like to have the marriage first and go with them, taking the excursion as a wedding trip. she would gladly pay all expenses if he would. but the man shook his head.
"i couldn't leave the stock fer that long, ennyhow you fix it. thur ain't no one would know to take my place. besides, i never was fer takin' journeys; but 'meelia ellen, she's allus ben of a sprightlier disposition, an' ef she hez a hankerin' after californy, i 'spect she'll be kinder more contented like ef she sees 'em first an' then settles down in granville. she better go while she's got the chancet."
amelia ellen succumbed, albeit with tears. hazel could not tell whether she was more glad or sad at the prospect before her. whiles amelia ellen wept and bemoaned the fate of poor burley, and whiles she questioned whether there really were any big trees like what you saw in the geographies with riding parties sitting contentedly in tunnels through their trunks. but at last she consented to go, and with many an injunction from the admiring and envious neighbours who came to see them off, amelia ellen bade a sobbing good-bye to her solemn lover in the gray dawn of an october morning, climbed into the stage beside hazel, and they drove away into the mystery of the great world. as she looked back at her peter, standing patient, stooped and gray in the familiar village street, looking after his departing sweetheart who was going out sightseeing into the world, amelia ellen would almost have jumped out over the wheel and run back if it had not been for what the neighbours would say, for her heart was burley's; and now that the big trees were actually pulling harder than burley, and she had decided to go and see them, burley began by his very acquiescence to pull harder than the big trees. it was a very teary amelia ellen who climbed into the train a few hours later, looking back dismally, hopelessly, towards the old stage they had just left, and wondering after all if she ever would get back to granville safe and alive again. strange fears visited her of dangers that might come to burley during her absence, which if they did she would never forgive herself for having left him; strange horrors of the way of things that might hinder her return; and she began to regard her hitherto beloved travelling companion with almost suspicion, as if she were a conspirator against her welfare.
however, as the miles grew and the wonders of the way multiplied, amelia ellen began to sit up and take notice, and to have a sort of excited exultance that she had come; for were they not nearing the great famed west now, and would it not soon be time to see the big trees and turn back home again? she was almost glad she had come. she would be wholly glad she had done so when she had got back safely home once more.
and so one evening about sunset they arrived at the little station in arizona which over a year ago hazel had left in her father's private car.
