i was very curious to have a look at berlin in war time; but as i am not writing a chronicle of the struggle, my impressions need not be laboured, except as they touched me personally.
the struggle had been going on for about eighteen months when i reached the capital, and, except in one respect, matters were pretty much as i had known them. there were more soldiers about, perhaps; there seemed to be as much bustling activity as usual, and certainly there was universal confidence that the result would be a glorious victory.
the one genuine surprise i had was when i came upon an unwontedly demonstrative crowd shouting that they were short of food. they were chiefly women, and a boisterous, vociferating lot they were. it was not so much the crowd that impressed me, however, or the row they kicked up, as the fact that the police didn't interfere. in my experience, a crowd might look for a very short shrift at the hands of the police of berlin.
i referred to the matter when i was at the tailor's—where, by the by, i succeeded in getting a very passably fitting suit and other things i needed—and he explained the reason. there was no real scarcity of food, he declared, but much grumbling at the distribution; and the police had had orders not to resort to drastic measures.
"it will have to be stopped, however, or the trouble will grow. there has already been some window smashing. imagine it, window smashing in our beautiful, well-organized city!" he cried, as if it were akin to impiety and sacrilege.
"very shocking," i agreed gravely.
"if it is not put down with an iron hand, it will not be safe for a well-dressed person to be in the streets. my own wife and daughter, only yesterday, were all but mauled in the untergasse. but the english will pay for it!"
i cut short that subject by speaking about the business in hand; it wasn't prudent to talk about the war, and i took care not to give him an opportunity of returning to it before i left the shop.
on my way back to the von reblings' house in the karlstrasse, i could think of nothing except the news i was to hear and what i should do if the scheme i had suggested was turned down. i could see nothing for it but to make a bolt almost at once, take nessa with me, and trust to our wits and luck to get away.
not a hopeful job at the best, and at the worst involving no end of risk and danger for us both. i knew my germany too well not to be painfully conscious of all that; and the knowledge made me profoundly uncomfortable. but i've a sanguine streak in me and am generally lucky, so i put off the consideration of the disagreeables until they had to be faced in earnest.
i need not have worried, however, for i found everything running as sweetly as a well-oiled engine when i reached the house. i knew it instantly by the manner in which feldmann greeted me.
instead of the previous sullen angry looks, he was all smiles, gripped my hand cordially, nearly fell on my neck, and i rather dreaded that he would wind up by kissing me. rosa and nessa were in much the same hilarious mood, and might have been arranging the details of a wedding rather than a little conspiracy against the government.
they had it all cut and dried, and my crude plan was hailed as if it had been a piece of the most wonderful strategy in the world.
"oscar will help us all he can," said rosa, blushing a bit as she used his christian name; "and he can get the passports and everything without any trouble. he has his already, and suggests that we shall have one for hans as well. i've seen hans, and he has consented to go if he can get leave. he doesn't think he can, but agrees we had better get one in case. that will be for you."
"won't there be some sort of description of him on it?" i asked.
"i can arrange that," declared feldmann. "luckily it is in my department. it will do for you, and, of course, he'll never see it."
"i shall take charge of everything," said rosa. "and oscar says he can get everything through in three days at the latest, perhaps in two."
there was a great deal of oscar would do this and oscar could do that, in it all; but everything seemed as good as the best, and i was soon in as high spirits as the others. it was settled that we should travel by the morning express, which would get us across the frontier in time for me to let rosa have my confession the following day.
"oscar" wrung my hand again at parting, as if i was his dearest friend; declared he was not among the english haters; that he thought i had acted splendidly in risking so much to rescue nessa; and that he hoped we should be great friends after this abominable war.
my next move was to prepare for leaving the house the next day, and at supper i announced my determination. the countess was very much against it, but afterwards i went with her alone into the drawing-room and gave her my "official" reasons.
"i want you to open your cabinet drawer, aunt; but before you do it, i'll tell you that you will find some one has been to it——"
"nessa?" she broke in excitedly.
"i'll tell you in a moment. you are quite right that there is some one in the house who is playing the spy, and, of course, you'll understand that if i am to join the secret service, it is a sheer impossibility for me to remain here with any one like that about the house."
"they shall leave it at once, johann."
"we'll discuss that directly. you will find that the letters you so neatly put away here are just flung in anyhow in order to suggest that whoever did it was surprised and had to act in a hurry."
she unlocked the drawer then with shaky fingers and there lay the letters as i had told her. "nessa shall leave the house to-morrow, johann," she cried immediately.
"but it wasn't miss caldicott at all, aunt; it was gretchen;" and i described what i had witnessed and went on to advise her not to take any open notice of the matter at all. "you know now who it is and can be on your guard, keeping such papers as are of no account here and putting others in a safer place."
"but to have such a person in the house, johann!"
"she can't do any harm now; and you must remember this. you don't know who has put her here nor the reason. it might do much more harm than good if you were to make any disturbance about it. these are curious times, and the fact that you have an english girl in the house may be the reason. by sending gretchen about her business you may only have some one else put here, or one of the other servants bribed or forced to take her place;" and i hammered away at this until i persuaded her to adopt the suggestion.
i had a strong object in taking this line. i was sure that gretchen was von erstein's creature, and that if she remained in the house, we might find her very useful in putting him off the scent by letting her find out some false facts in case of trouble.
during the night i thought carefully over our conspiracy scheme. it looked good; very good indeed; perhaps too good, and in the end i decided to prepare for a possible hitch in case the unexpected happened.
i couldn't see one anywhere; but you can never be prepared for an air pocket, as i knew well enough; so i resolved not to be caught unawares. if anything went wrong on the journey, it was on the cards that we might be able to dodge the trouble and get away, if we were provided with good disguises. i worked on that idea and thought of several other items which would probably come in handy.
i adopted the notion of turning myself into an aero mechanic and changing nessa into my young assistant. there wasn't much about any sort of flying machine i didn't know—except zeppelins, of course; so i could keep my end up all right, and could easily coach "my assistant" well enough to pass muster.
we should have to dodge the beastly german system which makes every workman carry his record card about with him; but if we couldn't get things of the sort, we must put up a bluff—have lost them or something—and trust to my skill with the tools to see us through.
i was off pretty early in the morning on the hunt for rooms, and almost immediately found a place which fitted my needs like a glove. it was a little furnished flat in the falkenplatz; just a couple of rooms with a bathroom at the rear, the window of which opened on to the fire escape; an emergency exit which might be invaluable in case of need.
but there was a hitch when i said i would take the place. i was asked for the inevitable papers to satisfy the police; and of course i had none. my explanation was listened to politely, but without effect; so i said i would obtain them, paid a deposit, and went off to buy some of the little items i had thought of during the night.
then i had a bit of a jar. i was coming out of a shop just as a tall, grey-haired, soldierly man in uniform was passing who glanced casually at me. the glance was followed by a start of surprise, his look became intent and interested, and he stopped as if to speak. naturally i took no notice and walked on; but a few seconds afterwards he passed me, stopped a few yards ahead to look in a shop window, and as i overtook him, he turned to give me a very keen, penetrating stare.
of course there were heaps of people in germany who had known me well, and i had discounted the risk of running against some of them. but i could not place him, and i was not a little relieved when he appeared uncertain and went off without addressing me.
it was a disturbing incident and brought home to me the advisability of keeping indoors as much as possible during the days i was to remain in berlin. the matter didn't end there, however.
remembering hoffnung's hint about keeping my appointment with baron von gratzen punctually, i turned up a little before time, and exactly on the stroke of eleven was shown into his office. my astonishment may be guessed when he proved to be the stranger i had just met.
i think that his amazement was even greater than mine, as he stared at the slip on which his subordinate had written my name and from it to me.
"then you are herr lassen?" he asked in frowning perplexity.
i bowed and held out the letter he had sent me. "you sent for me, sir."
he waved me to a chair and sat back lost in thought for so long that i began to wonder what the dickens was coming.
"you came from england, didn't you?"
"i believe so, sir."
"and you're the man without a memory, eh? very extraordinary; very extraordinary indeed. most remarkable case. and why have you come to berlin?"
"herr hoffnung brought me. i understood he had instructions to do so."
"tell me about your experiences there."
i looked as blank as a wall and shook my head.
"surely you can remember something. let me jog your memory. i know the country well, you understand. were you in london?" after another blank look from me, he took out a paper, glanced over it, and questioned me about a number of places and matters contained in it; to all of which i replied with either a vacant look or shake of the head.
the examination lasted for some considerable time, and presently he pushed a sheet of paper and a pen to me, telling me to write my name. i had expected some such test and took hold of the pen clumsily and, with infinite apparent trouble, wrote the name "johann lassen" in big sprawling printed capitals.
he watched me like a lynx at the job, took the paper, scanned it closely, and asked: "that the best you can do?"
"i can read the big letters of type, sir," i replied, and i fancied that he had to restrain a smile.
next he folded down the paper he had been reading from and showed me a sentence in it. a very non-committal sentence i noticed. "you recognize the writing?" more head wagging from me. "you should, you know; it's your own handwriting;" and he put the document away, and sat thinking again.
i'd have given something to be able to read his thoughts at that moment, especially when he roused himself sufficiently to favour me with some keen stares. i couldn't resist the unpleasant thought that he suspected something; but he gave no overt sign of suspicion, and his manner was less official than friendly. after a time something in his mind brought a heavy frown to his face.
"let me get the matter quite clear. you were blown up in the burgen, found yourself in a hospital in rotterdam with no papers of identification on you except a card, you remembered nothing at all of what had occurred, and came to berlin with herr hoffnung. you know that there was only one other male passenger on the steamer, a mr. lamb, about whom we have some reason to be curious. now, are you sure you are not that man?"
"i don't know, sir. i am not sure about anything except what has occurred since i was at rotterdam."
"well, when you arrived here the countess von rebling recognized you as her nephew.—were you at göttingen?" he asked so suddenly that i only escaped the trap by the skin of my teeth.
"i believe so, sir."
"then, of course, there will be plenty of people there to identify you."
"naturally, sir," i managed to reply, although a chill of dismay made my spine tingle at the meaning smile accompanying the words.
"we know, of course, that no one of the name of lamb was ever there," he said and paused again, as if to give me time to absorb all that this might be intended to suggest.
"do you speak english?" was the next question, put with a perfect accent in my own language.
"sure," i replied, with what i meant to be a very correct twang. but it didn't appear to impress him as much as i could have wished; and after regarding me curiously for a moment or two he rose, got a volume of mark twain's innocents abroad, and laid it open before me, asking me to try and read a passage.
i looked at it earnestly and gave it up as hopeless.
but he was too many for me. "well, i'll read it to you and get you to repeat it after me." and he did read it and i had to repeat the words in such american as i could manage. "thank you," he said as he closed the book and put it away again. and then another long pause followed.
i recalled hoffnung's disturbing words—that the baron would have something to tell me i might not like. he had certainly made that good, and i was beginning to be abominably troubled about the run of things when he started in again.
"and so you wish to join our secret service?" he asked with the abrupt shift of subject which worried me.
"herr hoffnung told me so, but——" and i smiled vacantly.
"do you imagine that a man without a memory would be of much use to us?"
"i'm afraid not, sir; but to tell the truth, i have no sort of desire to do it. the doctors at rotterdam told me i should recover my memory in time, and if i could have a good rest and just be absolutely quiet for a time it is all i wish."
he nodded, not unkindly, and then suddenly bent on me the keenest look i have ever seen in any man's eyes and asked: "are you sure you mean that?"
"absolutely, sir, on my honour," meeting his eyes steadily.
he held them for a moment with the same intentness, as if he would read my inmost thoughts, and then nodded and leant back in his seat. "i can understand that and believe you. i'm glad to hear it."
what he meant i couldn't tell, but i felt relieved because i appeared to have risen in his opinion, for some reason it was impossible even to guess. some minutes passed before any more was said, the longest silence yet. that he had evidently been running over all that had passed his next move showed.
"i am intensely interested in your case, and quite as intensely puzzled about it all. personally, i take your view—that the best thing would be to give you time to see if the memory comes back. but that's rather a point for the doctors than for me. you have done very valuable work for us in england and, other things turning out all right, there is no doubt you could do more of the same sort. but these are times when we can't do all we might; matters are too strenuous. except for this loss of memory, you seem to be absolutely normal—doctors again; and you'd better see them at once;" and he rang his table bell. "if you pass them and, from your appearance i have no doubt you will, you will, of course, go to the front."
i caught my breath at this, but he did not see my consternation, as he had risen while speaking and went out, leaving his secretary, named von welten, to remain with me.
