one day, about three weeks after the commencement of my school, i was surprised by a call from dell thompson, who, after conversing awhile, very familiarly, astonished me with an invitation to visit her the next afternoon. “she was going to have a few of her friends from the village,” she said, “dr. clayton with the rest.”
here she looked at me and i looked out of the window, while she continued, “you’ll come, i suppose.”
i replied that i would, after which she departed, leaving me in a perfect state of bewilderment. i invited to captain thompson’s, with dell’s fashionable friends! what could it mean, and what should i wear? this last was by far the more important question; for i knew that the people of the village were noted for their fine dress, and i, of course, could not compete with them in point of elegance. dr. clayton too, i had heard, was rather fastidious in his ideas of a lady’s dress, and my heart sank within me as i mentally enumerated the articles of my scanty wardrobe, finding therein nothing which i deemed fit for the occasion, save a white dotted muslin, which was now lying soiled and wrinkled at the bottom of my trunk. it is true, i had a blue and white lawn, neatly made and quite becoming, but my heart was set upon the muslin, and so when mrs. ross, 89with whom i was that week boarding, offered to wash and iron it, i accepted the proffered kindness.
the next morning, when i passed captain thompson’s, i observed a great commotion in and around the house. the blinds were thrown back, and through the parlor windows i caught sight of brooms and dusters, while at intervals during the day, the scholars brought me tidings of cake, jellies, and ice-cream, said to be in progress. at precisely four o’clock i dismissed school, and taking a short cut across the fields, soon reached my boarding-place, where i found mrs. ross bending over the ironing-table with a face flushed, and indicative of some anxiety.
“i never see nothin’ beat it,” she began, holding down her hot iron and thereby making a slightly yellow spot on the dress. “i never see nothin’ beat it, how this gown pesters me. it must be poor stuff, or somethin’,—but mebby it’ll look better on you,” she continued, as she gave it a finishing touch, and then held it up to view.
and, indeed, it was sorry looking enough; some places being wholly destitute of starch, while others were rough and stiff as a piece of buckram. common sense told me to wear the blue, but i had heard dr. clayton say that nothing became a young girl so well as white, and so i determined to wear it. it would look better on me, i thought, and with all the eagerness of a child i commenced my toilet, discovering to my great dismay that i had neither shoes nor stockings fit to wear with a muslin dress. the week previous i had taken my best ones home, where i had purposely left them, not thinking it possible for me to need them. here then was a dilemma, out of which mrs. ross at last helped me, by offering to lend the articles which i lacked; an offer which i gladly accepted. her stockings were rather coarse, having been knit by herself, but they 90possessed the virtue of being white, and clean, and would have answered my purpose very well, had it not been for the slippers, which were far too long for me, and showed almost the whole of my foot. besides that, i found it rather difficult keeping them on, until mrs. ross suggested the propriety of stuffing the toes with cotton! this done, i donned the muslin dress, which seemed to me much shorter than when i had last worn it, inasmuch as i had the painful consciousness of being all feet, whenever i glanced in that direction.
but mrs. ross said “i looked mighty crank,” at the same time fastening on my low-necked waist her glass breastpin, which she pronounced, “just the checker.” “you orto have some gloves to wear when you get there,” said she, as she saw me drawing on my brown ones, “and i b’lieve i’ve got the very thing,” she continued, bringing from the depths of the bureau-drawer a pair of white cotton mitts, fancifully embroidered on the back with yellow and blue. these she bade me “tuck in my bosom until i got there, and on no account to lose ’em, as she had ’em before she was married!”
thus equipped, i started for captain thompson’s, reaching there just as the clock was striking five, and finding, to my surprise, that i was not only the first arrival, but that neither mrs. thompson nor dell had yet commenced dressing! fearing i had mistaken the day, i questioned the servant girl who answered my ring, and who assured me that i was right, while at the same time, she conducted me to the chamber above, where, in the long mirror, i obtained a full-length view of myself, feet and all! my first impulse was to laugh, my second to cry, and to the latter i finally yielded. no one came near me—i heard no one—saw no one, until in light flowing muslin, white silk hose, 91and the tiniest of all tiny french slippers, dell thompson sailed into the room, starting with well feigned surprise when she saw me, asking how long i had been there, and what was the matter.
without considering what i was doing, i told her unreservedly about the shoes and stockings, pointing to my peacock feet as proof of what i said. with all her faults, there was enough of the woman about dell to inspire her with a feeling of pity for me, and after forcing back the laugh she could not well help, she said kindly, “your shoes are rather large, but i think, perhaps, i can remedy the difficulty.”
at the same time she started to leave the room. what new impulse came over her, i never knew; but sure am i that something changed her mind, for, when nearly at the door, she suddenly paused, saying; “i know, though, you can’t wear my slippers, so it’s of no use trying the experiment:” adding, as she saw how my countenance fell, “i wouldn’t mind it if i were you. nobody’ll notice it, unless it is dr. clayton, who, i believe, admires small ankles and little feet; but you don’t care for him, he’s old enough to be your father, and, besides that, he thinks you perfect, any way.”
her words and manner annoyed me, and for a moment i debated in my own mind the propriety of leaving at once, but i had not seen dr. clayton since he carried me home, and so i finally concluded to remain, thinking that i would keep my seat, and on no account stir when he was looking at me. after coming to this conclusion, i ventured to ask dell where the rest of the company were, and was told that they were not invited until evening.
“until evening,” i repeated; “then i guess i’ll go before they come, for i shall be afraid to walk home alone.”
“there’s a good moon,” said she; adding, “you must 92not leave, on any account, for that will spoil all the—pleasure” she said—fun i now think she meant; but i could not fathom her then, and i never dreamed that she had invited me there merely to show me up before her fashionable friends, and make light of me in the estimation of dr. clayton.
“come down to the parlor,” she said at last, after arranging for the third time the heavy braids of her black, beautiful hair; and following her, i soon stood in the presence of mrs. thompson, a tall, dark, haughty looking woman, who, half arising from the sofa, bowed stiffly, muttering a few words of welcome as dell introduced me.
dropping into the first seat, a large willow chair near the door, i tried to act natural, but i could not; for turn which way i would, i felt that a pair of large black eyes were upon me, scanning me from my head to my feet; and when her linen cambric handkerchief went up to her mouth, apparently to stifle a cough, i was certain that it also smothered a laugh, which i suppose my rather singular appearance called forth. right glad was i when both the ladies found an excuse for leaving the parlor, though i did find it rather tiresome sitting there alone until the shades of evening began to fall.
at last, when it was nearly dark, i ventured out upon the long piazza, where i had not been long, when a gentleman on horseback galloped into the yard, and in a moment i recognized dr. clayton’s voice, as he gave his horse to the keeping of capt. thompson’s hired man. hastily retreating to the parlor, i had just time to seat myself in a corner where i thought i should attract the least attention, when he entered the room with dell, whose hand i am sure he held until he saw me; then quickly dropping it, he advanced to my side, greeting me kindly, and once, when 93dell’s back was towards us, whispering softly; “i am so glad to find you here. i was afraid the party would prove a bore.”
just then we heard the sound of fast coming wheels, and in a moment there came round the corner a long open omnibus, drawn by four horses, and densely crowded with young people of both sexes, all seemingly shouting and laughing with all their might. i was not much used to the ways of the world then, and having been taught that it was not lady-like to be either rude or boisterous, i wondered greatly that well-bred people should conduct themselves so badly: a species of wonder, by the way, in which i now occasionally indulge. bounding out, and adjusting their light, flowing robes, the young ladies went tripping up the stairs, still talking, laughing, and screaming so loudly, that once i started up, exclaiming, “why, what is the matter!”
with a peculiar smile, dr. clayton laid his hand on my head in a very fatherly way, saying; “my little girl hasn’t yet learned that in order to be refined, she must be rough and boisterous, and i hope she never will, for it is refreshing to find occasionally something feminine and natural.”
by this time the guests were assembled in the parlor, and when i saw how tastefully they were dressed, and how much at ease they appeared, i began to wish myself anywhere but there. one by one they were presented to me, i at first keeping my seat; but when dr. clayton whispered to me to stand up, i did so, bending my knees a little, so as to make my dress longer, and thus partially hide my feet! but this could not be done, and like two backgammon boards they set out at right angles, with the wads of cotton lying up, round and hard. the young ladies had undoubtedly received a description of me, for they inspected me closely, glancing the while mischievously at dell, who seemed to be 94in her element; asking me if i were not tired; telling me i looked so, and adding, aside, but loud enough for dr. clayton and myself to hear—“i should think she would be, for she’s been here ever since five o’clock. i hadn’t even commenced dressing!”
“is it possible?” said one; while another exclaimed, “how green! but i suppose it’s her first introduction into society, and she knows no better.”
this conversation was probably not intended for me, but i heard it all, and with much bitterness at my heart i turned away to hide my tears, involuntarily drawing nearer to dr. clayton, as if for protection. but, for some reason or other, he did not appear now as he did when we were alone; then he was all kindness and attention, while he now evidently avoided me; seeming slightly annoyed when any of his acquaintance teased him about me, as i more than once heard them doing. in his nature, as in every other man’s, there were both good and bad qualities, and they now seemed warring with each other; the former chiding him for deserting me when i stood so much in need of his attention, and the latter shrinking from anything which would incur the ridicule of his companions.
at last, as if his good genius had conquered, he suddenly broke away from a group of girls, and crossing over to where i was standing, offered me his arm, telling me “i must stir round and be more sociable.”
i looked down at my feet, so did he, and for an instant there was a flush on his face; but it passed off, and with a word of encouragement, he led me towards the music-room, where dell thompson was unmercifully pounding a five hundred dollar piano, which groaned and shrieked under the infliction, while the bystanders, who had insisted upon her playing, were all talking together, seemingly intent upon 95seeing which could make the most noise, they or the instrument.
“do you play, miss lee?” was asked me by half a dozen or more.
i had taken lessons two quarters, and i could play a few dancing tunes, marches, etc., and so i said, whereupon they insisted upon my favoring them with money musk, as they wanted to dance, and none of them could perform anything as old-fashioned as that. i looked at dr. clayton, who, in a low tone, asked, “are you sure you can get through with it?”
there was doubt in the tones of his voice which touched my pride, and without deigning him an answer i took my seat, resolving to do my best. the set was soon formed, dr. clayton dancing with dell thompson, who remarked as he led her away—“i suppose we shall have a rare performance.”
something, i am sure, must have inspired me, for never before did i play so well; keeping perfect time, and striking every note distinctly. my audience were evidently both surprised and pleased, for they called for piece after piece, until my list was exhausted, when one of the gentlemen, more thoughtful than the ladies, suggested the possibility of my being tired.
“perhaps she dances, too. ask her, bob,” said a young lady, while dell eagerly rejoined, “oh, yes, do;” but bob was forestalled by dr. clayton, who, for several minutes, had stood by my side, complimenting my playing, and who now asked me to be his partner in the next cotillon, his cousin having volunteered to take my place at the piano.
in my excitement i forgot my shoes, forgot everything, save that dr. clayton’s eye was looking down upon me, that my hand was resting in his, and ere i was aware of it, i 96found myself upon the floor. i was perfectly familiar with the changes of the cotillon, but at my right was john thompson; who, when it came his turn to swing with me, refused to take my hand, treating me with such marked insolence that i became confused, and made several mistakes, at which he laughed contemptuously. besides this, my big shoes incommoded me; and at last, in the midst of the promenade, one of them dropped off, the cotton-ball rolled out, i tripped, lost my balance, and after one or two headlong plunges, fell flat at the feet of dr. clayton, who stood aghast with surprise and mortification. it was ludicrous enough, i know; but i do not think there was any necessity for the loud roar which was raised over my mishap; and burning with shame and vexation, i gathered myself up, and fled from the room; but not until i heard dell thompson say, as she picked up the shoe and passed it to dr. clayton, “it is mrs. ross’s; she hadn’t any of her own, which she thought suitable, and so she borrowed.”
“that accounts for the cotton-wad,” said john, dealing said wad a kick that sent it bounding past me.
rushing up the stairs, i found my shawl and bonnet; and then, without a word to any one, started for home, minus my shoe, which i entirely forgot in my excitement. i had scarcely got outside the gate when the sound of a footstep caused me to look around, and i saw dr. clayton, his hat in one hand and mrs. ross’s slipper in the other. this last he passed to me, and then without a word drew my arm within his, and for a time we walked on in silence, while i cried as if my heart would break. coming at last to an old oak tree, under which a rude bench had been constructed, he bade me sit down; and placing himself by my side, asked me, “what was the matter?”
“you know well enough what’s the matter,” i said 97angrily, struggling to rise; but his arm was strong, and he held me fast, while he tried to quiet me, and in this he soon succeeded, for he possessed over me a power which i could not resist.
gradually, as i grew calm, i told him all; how i believed that dell thompson had invited me only to ridicule me, how she had asked me to come in the afternoon, and then made fun of me for doing so; while her companions called me green; and that in the absence of my own slippers i had worn those of mrs. ross; thereby meeting with the worst catastrophe of all; to wit, the falling flat in the dance!
here i broke down entirely, and cried out aloud; while the doctor, after one or two hearty laughs at my distress, tried again to comfort me, asking me what i cared for dell thompson’s ridicule. “she wasn’t worth minding,” he said, “and no one who knows her would attach any importance to her remarks.”
“but what makes her treat me so?” i asked; “i never harmed her.”
for a time the doctor said nothing; but the arm, which all the time had encircled my waist, drew me still closer to his side, while he at last replied, “she is jealous of you—jealous because she thinks i like the little rose better than i do her.”
“and it’s very foolish in her to think so,” i exclaimed.
again the doctor was silent, but by the light of the full moon i saw that there was a curious train of thought passing through his mind, but it did not manifest itself in words; for when he again spoke, it was merely to reply, “yes, very foolish;” then, after another pause, he added, “and still i know of no reason why i should like her best—do you?”
“yes,” i answered quickly, “there are many reasons. 98she is handsome; i am homely. she is graceful; i am awkward. she is rich; i am poor”——
“she is artificial; you are truthful;” said he, interrupting me, while, without paying any heed to this remark, i continued, “she is a young lady, and i am a little girl—only thirteen.”
“i wish you were older, rose,” said he, “and had seen a little more of the world.”
then followed a long conversation in which much was said, which had far better been left unsaid; for i was a warm-hearted, impulsive child, believing that i to him was what he was to me. and still he did not once commit himself, nor in what he said was there aught which could possibly have been construed into an avowal of anything save friendship, which was the theme upon which he rang many a change. alas, for such friendships! they are dangerous to one’s peace of mind, particularly if told beneath an old oak tree, with the silvery moonlight shining down upon you, and the soft summer air gently moving the green leaves above your head. how long we sat there i do not know; but i was the first to propose going, telling him they would miss him at the party, and wonder at his absence.
“let them wonder then,” said he; “i have no intention of returning to the house. it would be intolerable after this pleasant chat with you, so i shall just get my horse and go quietly home.”
i did not then know that he had not sufficient courage to brave the jokes and jeers which he knew were sure to greet him, should he return to captain thompson’s. neither did i know that with his fashionable friends he would scarcely dare defend me; nor that when john thompson once, in his presence, imitated the way in which i stumbled and fell, 99he joined in the laugh which followed; saying, though as if in apology, “that it was too bad to make fun of me, for i was quite a nice little girl.”
we found mrs. ross sitting up for me, sleeping in her chair, while the tallow candle at her side had burned and spluttered away, until the black, crisped wick was longer than the candle itself.
“lordy massy! doctor, is that you?” she exclaimed, rubbing open her eyes and hooking up her dress, which, for comfort, she had loosened. “i thought, mebby, you’d beau rosa home. come in and stay a spell. i’d as lief you’d spark it awhile in t’other room as not!”
but the doctor had no idea of doing anything so marked as that; and with a whispered good night to me, and an audible one to mrs. ross, he departed; just as the good lady asked me, loud enough for him to hear, “if i’d dirtied her stockings, lost her mitts, or broken her breastpin?”
